So its been almost a month since the final show... time flies, huh?
It's a strange feeling, knowing education for me is pretty much over now... its all I've known and without it, I hate to say but I feel rather lost.
I was finally getting somewhere on my course, finally proving people wrong, finally getting the positivity I'd been fighting for and as soon as I got my little hands within grabbing reach time snatched it away. I've always felt as if i had all the time in the world but it's dawning on me that time is a finite thing and as you get older it seems to slip faster and faster through your fingers until your in a retirement home wondering what you've actually done with your life?!
I'm in a constant state of uneasiness, will I do what I want to do, will I go where I want to go, how long will it take me and do I have enough time!
Set back after set back and time is ticking away, tick tock tick tock how do I stop this fucking clock!?!?!
I need to find something to occupy myself for these coming months, I need to draw more, I must draw more... pick up that pen and get back out there.
Time stops for no man, but I guess the beauty of observational drawing is that you've successfully done what no man has physically been able to do... stopped time.
If you have an all-consuming passion for drawing and creativity Sam you will never stop. I have taken until I am nearly fifty to reach my goal of obtaining my degree. I have scribbled sploshed and "made" my way through this world since the age of six years old (my earliest memory of scribbling and the frustration of not being able to draw something with perspective…my pencil came towards my nose in the air and I was so perplexed it made me want to learn more!). Even though life has made me do other things alongside my creative passion, to survive. I have taught and may continue to teach (noway primary and secondary school stuff though!)… but the teaching I have done in the past is through practise and experience - not degree experience. I have come the scenic route to art college - and for me at any rate, it has been a very worthwhile journey! :) Never think that it all stops here. It's only just begun darling! :) Much love Mel xxx
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mel.. If you've a passion for creating then you'll find you can't stop! I'm not sure how you feel, but from my perspective I really believe you discovered something special.. Even eternal for yourself in the third year. I can understand.. When what you've known for so long reaches its tether, it can be extremely unnerving. It's alright to feel anxiety overwhelm you, it's natural because your body is preparing you to survive. Some people take their time in asking life what they want from it, and some never know what they want. But I can confidently reassure you.. Whatever it is you seek, whenever you seek it, if you want it, you will get it :) As unbelievable or as preachy as it may sound right now, the journey can be as simple and as pleasant as this. All you have to do is retain an open mind with how you get what you want, and to act upon or trust in your gut intuition without hesitation, and you'll be sailing. I had depression for several years after my first course ended, and although I feel a little anxious too from having finished this one, it does get more enjoyable :) I feel a very strong piece of advice or encouragement learnt would be to keep going strong, even if you're not quite sure where your feet are taking you, the exciting thing is that they're taking you somewhere where you'll discover some really amazing avenues and opportunities you never knew existed. Your friends will also be looking out for opportunities with you too, so you never need feel like you're doing this alone. I'm always here for you! Even if time passes hugely and we've not managed to keep in touch for 5 or so years, I can reassure you that you're a type of person for whom my back will never be turned xx
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ReplyDeleteYou know how long it's taken me to get back into drawing, you never lose it .. Time makes you think that you have. Time does fly by so fast the older you get, that's only because you have different markers of time. Keep hold of your dreams and don't let anyone take them, or your pencils, away xx you do have a great talent, and it will be recognised.
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